2014 was a year of many big questions and equally, of many big answers for me. Realizations and light poured into my life as if I had broken open a dam which had been waiting to be destroyed. If you know anything about dams, they block essential life giving water to the regions downstream. These types of blocks within us become formed in many ways, and like Rome, they aren’t built in a day. Years and years of negative patterns formed by fear, cause us to become resistant and build a “protective” barrier to the outside world. We protect ourselves from failure, rejection, growth, change, and success. Even love can seem scary if we are not ready to accept it or feel that we deserve it. This protection is usually unconscious and sometimes so deeply hidden that it takes years to fully release it, even after we have made the intention to do so.
Last year I released a massive block within me which was rooted in my centre, the solar plexus. I’m talking epic proportions here (but that’s a whole other book ..). It was the end result of an incredible journey which started with one question to which the answer was: Self-Love. The answer to a big question I had asked myself about something that seemed to be missing from my life. But it turned out to be the answer to many of my deep personal questions. Then I realized; if everyone truly loved themselves, we would have a lot less problems in the world… No more fighting, no more hate, no more jealousy, no more greed, no more fear. Love fulfills all the voids which cause those problems. But most of us wait to be loved by others, expect to receive love from others and sometimes even demand it. Needing acceptance and reassurance from others.
But waiting for someone to love you is like waiting for someone to turn on the tap and pour you a glass of water when you are the one standing by the sink. We have this tap within us and its an infinite resource.
Becoming aware of my lack of self-love mid 2014 changed my life. It affected how I eat, how I think, how I dress, who I choose to be around, everything! When you love yourself you will even treat others around you differently and they will also treat you differently. Self-Love means respect. Self-Love means compassion. Self-Love is all those things we want in an ideal relationship; honesty, acceptance, kindness, compassion, and patience. When you have true self-love, wounds heal. We need to value ourselves, truly treasure ourselves as the magnificent beings we are. Once this awareness comes into light, you will never be the same. I had to make some drastic changes, a bit painful at times but worth it. Change is movement, movement is growth, growth is life and life is love!
Self-Love really is the answer. Ask yourself, do you love yourself? You are the one you have been searching for. There is nothing to wait for.
PS: The attached image is my own self-love doodle, not exactly a self portrait though ;)